Love Story: Part One

Every girl dreams of finding her own prince charming, receiving a beautiful diamond ring (with the exception of my dear friend Rachael who has a case against diamonds), having a wedding fit for a princess, and living a happily ever after. We are hopeless romantics, and our fascination with romance seems to be built into our very genes. As soon as we hit adolescence (sometimes even sooner), we start checking out the boys we meet. We go from crush to crush, every time feeling sure we have found our prince, only to discover we were mistaken and to have our hearts broken once again.

I was no exception to the rule. I may be the daughter of a missionary. People may put a halo over my head and believe me a saint, but I am no different than the next girl. I have always had the same longings and desires to find the perfect man who would pursue me, fight for me, protect me, and love me exclusively and unconditionally.

I grew up in a conservative home with my mother’s example set before me to follow. When Wendy (my mom) was twelve years old, she heard a talk about not entering the dating game but waiting for the person God had prepared for you. She purposed to wait for the man God had in store for her despite the ridicule of her friends. When she was 23 years old, God brought along the dashing missionary, Jurgen Schulz. Within months they were engaged, married and leaving for the mission field (Bolivia).

I personally decided I wanted to follow in my mother’s footsteps. I made my way through my teens without a single boyfriend (although plenty of crushes!) I didn’t head off to Bible college till I was twenty-one. Inwardly I resolved I did not want to meet anyone at “Bridal College,” as Bible Colleges are often jokingly referred to, for the silly reason that it didn’t make for an interesting story. Sure enough, I graduated with my Bachelor of Science in Biblical Exposition and Theology without a ring on my finger.

When we are young, we tend to be full of dreams, illusions and optimism. As the years pass, and we become more familiar with the “real world” and the realities of life, we tend to lose our dreams, our illusions, and our optimism. It’s easy to become cynical. As I saw all the broken marriages that surrounded me, I began to doubt whether I really wanted to marry. I was afraid. I was also afraid of setting all my hopes on getting married and being disappointed, so I decided to plan my life as if I was going to remain single.

I also came to realize that women tend to look to marriage to fill their need for love and purpose--a need that only God can fill. Hollywood and romance novels fill our heads with unrealistic expectations, and I sometimes wonder if a reason so many marriages fail is that women become disillusioned when they discover men are incapable of meeting all those needs and expectations. Whether I stayed single or not, I decided I wanted to go to God to fill my needs, and I wanted to become satisfied with only Him!

I began to seek my contentment in God and to create other dreams for my life. I was born with some hearing loss, and God used that among other things to put a burden on my heart for those who could not hear at all. I began to dream of returning to Bolivia and finding ways to generate employment for deaf individuals in a country where little is done to help those with disabilities. I was content and happy with my dreams, yet if I had looked deep down into the inner yearnings of my heart, I would have found my stuffed away dreams for marriage were still lurking in the recesses of my heart...